ADEC

“It is a simple game, played by men and boys worldwide.”
Mark looked at Dan intently, aware that he was about to discuss something intimate, secret and delightfully dirty. It was a measure of their alienated and sophisticated attitude that they could discuss such matters. Between them, no subject was taboo.
“It is called the All Day Erection Challenge, or ADEC. As the name suggests, the aim is to keep one’s penis in a state of at least semi-tumescence for the whole day.”
Mark took over here. As smoothly as the fourth man in a relay team, he seized the gristly baton of this deliciously risqué topic.
“Merely observe idle men in public spaces and you will see everywhere the adepts of ADEC. The man on a bus who touches the fly of his trousers – so swift is the movement that only a trained eye will spot it. He is delivering the minimum stimulation necessary so as to keep his pecker up.”
Dan picked up the thread without missing a beat: “A less subtle practitioner of the art can often be seen rummaging in a pocket slightly more than is reasonable. He is twitching himself back into excitement. Something has almost destroyed his concentration. Perhaps the sight of an old, feeble, man has made him consider, for a crazy moment, the possibility that he will one day be weak and impotent.”
“Of course, most ADEC masters are above such obtrusive techniques,” continued Mark. “They allow themselves to brush against pneumatic ladies ahead of them in carefully selected supermarket queues. They touch themselves unnoticeably with elbow or briefcase. Some have developed other strategies, even more cunning. One of the most common, known as ‘the flap’, simply involves a gentle, rhythmic, opening and closing of the legs.”
“The uncircumcised man,” began Dan, warming to his theme, “knows with certainty that if he retracts his prepuce and wears his most abrasive underwear (the ones with that slightly ragged seam) he will be reminded constantly of a comforting bulge until morning coffee at least. Some men slip their organ under their pant elastic. The firm constrictive pressure can delight for extended periods. However, it is the mind which is the ADEC addicts most precious ‘tool’. A good fantasy is superior to any of the more grossly physical techniques.”
“Throughout the ages, women have commented that men appear to be mentally undressing them. Of course, the reality is far more exciting than that. Men mentally fondle, cup, part and penetrate myriad women daily. The basic principle is to work with the material to hand. Scan the office, the waiting room, the bus or the gym. Select the woman who, at that moment, is the hottest. You are now free to imagine yourselves in any number of exquisite embraces. Some romantic types form an attachment to a specific woman and prefer to hold her image up to their inner eye. Others take a savage delight in visualising how they would encounter all the women in their immediate vicinity, so inexhaustible and egalitarian are their appetites.”
“Most members of the male race never stop to reflect on why they act this way. Do you question why you breathe? Here is my theory. We swell to feel our maleness. My argument is designed to be simple; you may find it tautological. Without a firm stirring in our loins we risk feel like nothing at all. Our bodies have not evolved to create life. We are fruitless, marginal beings, doomed to watch the magical narrative of ovulation and menstruation, child-bearing and child-birth, from the wings, like some unnecessary Greek chorus. Our erections remind us that we exist and matter. Those choric ejaculations may seem trite and banal, telling us what we already know, ours, however hidden or misdirected, are charged with meaning.”

They rested for a moment, exhilarated by their talk. They looked up at their teacher simultaneously. She was a fine woman, whose nipples were clearly visible through her long-sleeved t-shirt. How is anyone supposed to get any work done when she’s dressed like that? Nipples on bonk. Phasers on stun. I’m there. My slender stalk reaching inside as she rides, allowing her breasts to hang into my face as I crunch up, trying with a supreme effort of will to make this moment last, just seconds longer. I’m there. I feel her squeeze and let go.